Theory Of Happy Living

I’m writing after three and a half years. The reason was the second brain stroke that I suffered in November 2021. This time, it was much more severe as well as dangerous than the previous one. So, I am writing this blog especially for those suffering from brain stroke. Let me share my experience with you.
After the first brain stroke, I had managed to recover much faster and resumed wprk and a normal life quite soon as shared in my previous blogs. On 20 November 2021, I was in office working like I usually do. I could feel something was going wrong, like difficulty in breathing, legs becoming numb and not being able to speak clearly. I called my brother who sits in the adjacent cabin. He rushed me home and I was able to walk upto my car. On reaching home I was having difficulty in getting out of the car, so the guards att the gate came to help and with their support, I went inside my home. Then, from there to the hospital and MRI confirmed the stroke. Treatment began and after 2 weeks I was discharged after my family reassured the team of doctors that I would be taken care of at home and my wife would be in regular touch with doctors and monitor my BP, sugar, heartbeat, etc. everyday.
On reaching home I saw myself in the bedroom mirror after much insistence, needless to say it was a shocking revelation. I had transformed into a dark and haggard skeleton. The second stroke had affected my whole body, both sides were paralysed, even my neck was not following my commands. Thereafter, my family members sat with me for a long time. Finally, they left, realising I needed rest. I was given my medicines and saw that my wife and daughter were on both sides as I was restless all through nights. But everyone had had a long day and it was past midnight, both fell into exhausted sleep. Despite having very strong medicines and tranquilizers, I was unable to sleep. I kept looking at the beloved faces of the two women so dear to me with no hope of making it through this time. The only thought in my mind was that i was probably seeing them for the last time and wanted to carry their image in my heart and mind as it is believed that if the person/s dear to you are with you in your final hours, there’s a possibility of meeting them or finding them again in your next life. I must have fallen asleep hearing the birds chirping early in the morning.
I woke up at 11.30 am and found my parents (both have passed away, way back) sitting at my bedside. They told me not to worry about anything as I was a fighter and a dear son of theirs. To buck up and gather courage, think about recovering as nothing would happen to me. I was wide awake now, not sure if it was a dream or reality.
For the first time, I broke the trance I was in and with an eye contact and nod of my head asked my wife for a cup of tea. After a few days I began asking for tea with the gesture of my han. Thereafter, the demand for tea was accompanied with a call and a hand gesture. How all of this happened is still a mystery to me.
It’s been a long time now, but my determination to improve is still going on with greater force each passing day.
First of all, work on your speech which is a common disorder in most patients. You can get your voice back, so don’t panic. First of all, repeat each word separately then join this sentence and repeat it again and again. Don’t bother about clarity or volume. You have to repeat: Paani gira cham cham (in hindi)
Secondly, exercise your tongue (as it becomes thick so you can’t speak) move it in, out, sideways, whatever you can manage.
Lastly, the word OM has a lot of power. So keep repeating or chanting as much as u can. Trust me, it works and I am sharing my own experience. It helped me get my voice back.
As far as getting back on your feet, it requires some effort from your side. Do simple exercises so that your muscles don’t become weak and you can regain your strength slowly and steadily.
A balanced and nutritious diet which gives you energy also plays an important role in your recovery.
Last but not least, tell yourself at least 5 times every morning, “I have to get well.” And before sleeping, “I am feeling better today.” See the miracle happening. I am a common man like you all out there and these things worked for me. I was in the worst scenario, but I have recovered to quite an extent, about 80%. Till here, the journey was tough, yet I am confident that I will recover completely.
So love yourself and your life. Treasure the people important in your life whether they are family, friends or near and dear ones. Don’t let unnecessary negativity set in as what you have is priceless. There are solutions to every problem. People with brain stroke should never worry however strong the stroke is. The first timers can definitely recover faster. The second timers too have hope to overcome the worst condition with belief in yourself and determination and a never die spirit to fight this condition. If you believe YOU THINK YOU CAN DO IT, YOU WILL. Finally, have faith in the almighty as he never disappoints his children.
Take care and a speedy recovery. Hope you will remember me too in your prayers.

In times of international crises, the me time which came in my life, has set me thinking once again. A have written so many blogs in the past, out of which some were appreciated a lot by my readers and followers, there were numerous queries about the people I wrote and they continue coming till date. There are some people who have made the readers extremely curious. I have been asked again and again if such people exist, if they can know more about them. So in my first part I am writing about a few, who were highly appreciated by others (not that I don’t admire them myself).

The first person about whom I am going to write is my father-in-law, a defence personal and doctor by profession. A man of principles, few words and strict disciplinarian. I had met him only once before my marriage and never been to their home. So I went to pick up my wife, on the occasion of holi, the festival of colours. After an 8 hour journey by train, I was received by my wife and her cousins at the railway station. When we finally reached home, I was greeted by a beautiful bunglow, boasting a lush green n well trimmed lawn, surrounded by beds of colorful fowers of every possible variety. My father-in-law was standing in the porch to welcome me. I complimented him on the well kept lawn and selection of flowers. He just nodded his head with a smile. I was treated to hot ginger tea and some delicious homemade snacks. The next morning as I stepped out of my room, I was greeted by a bunch of most beautiful n freshly cut flowers from the garden, in a crystal vase, resting on a carved walnut table. It instantly put me in a good mood which continued the rest of the day. This routine continued the next few days. The whole household was in a shock, so my wife told me the reality, that her father never allowed anyone to touch his flowers, leave alone cutting them. On the last day of my visit I asked him why he kept a fresh bouquet for me every morning, when he could not tolerate anyone taking even a single flower from his prized garden. Hearing this he replied that since he had given away the most beautiful flower of his garden to me, the rest didn’t matter. It pained me deeply to see that this so called reserved gentleman was shedding tears for his beloved daughter. I could’ve bet anything at that time to prove he’d probably never told his daughter in so many words as to how much he loved her. Today he’s no more, but I cannot forget his face and its expressions. I promised him that day, the flower he’d given me shall never fade or wither away. After almost 27 years, I thank god for supporting me to keep my word. This incident taught me a very valuable lesson in life i.e. never judge a person by what others say, but judge him/her on your own merits. I think this was the reason why my readers could sense and recognize the real person behind the strict facade.

Another character who was liked by readers in my own country as well as abroad, is not very well known to me as well. But whatever I know about her is enough for me. I am referring to my eye specialist Dr. Shalini. Till date I haven’t even exchanged 20 complete sentences with her, must have had 10 to 12 sessions lasting a few or maybe 10 minutes. Here I want to add that sometimes it takes a lifetime to understand someone, while we may spend our whole life with a person realizing that we don’t know the real human being behind the mask he/she wears for the world. But I have to applaud my intelligent readers for marking the distinct and unique qualities of this doctor after reading my post. Once again I will refer to the face and expression of the doctor which never gives away the complications or severity of a patient’s condition. So me, the reluctant, nervous, unsure sufferer, relied upon my face reading, which clearly assured me that I was not so critical and in safe hands. Along with this her elegant and sophisticated demeanor, subtle perfume (known to calm the most ruffled nerves according to the French), confident personality, only boosts the patient’s morale, like it did mine. I felt her soul is somewhere connected to God, who helps her to help so many. She’s inspires others to be dedicated to your profession, be very sure of your knowledge, constantly looking/ searching for solutions, for the kind of patients she treats, with a strong and steady coordination of heart and mind are in a no win situation. I admire her for being the master of the game, for she knows the rules, thus she plays (treats) with the assurance of victory every time.

Another person who was much admired by my readers was the first girl (from the blog, my four favorite girls), my immediate neighbour. A lot of people were keen to know if people like her really exist or have such a fantastic presence of mind. So my answer is yes, this girl exists, whatever I wrote about her was true and she is not a piece of fictitious imagination. I observed that if she was determined to do something she would do it by hook or by crook. Let me give you an example, supposing she had to wear a new dress the very next day, the material would be lying unstitched at home, with no chance of any tailor even agreeing to get it ready even for extra bucks, used to be a challenge for her. She would not only get one of the neighbourhood aunts to stitch it in one evening, sew the buttons, the lace, etc. iron it and be ready to wear it the next morning. She always made the impossible appear so simple and easy. I had lost touch with her, but suddenly got a call from her last year. She who had to give up on higher studies due to an early marriage, has to her credit two highly educated and successful children, a husband who is a highly reputed, respectable and well known official. So someone who has the drive and energy to do something constructive, will do it one way or the other. She put her heart and soul in making a comforting and beautiful home for the extra busy husband, encouraged her children to complete higher education to be at the pinnacle of success today. I always used to tell my wife that she was very intelligent and could have achieved great heights had she not got married so early. Here too I have been proved right, as she infused her positive energy and willingness to touch the sky into those who were around her.

We always think about good people especially when there are dark clouds threatening our peace of mind or very existence. So the rainbow can only be witnessed after incessant rain, lightening and thunder. The rainbow has seven colors, so these are the first three colors for you. The remaining will follow in the second part. Till that time stay safe and stay at home. Happy reading about more such good people!

better

There are so many things about life that are not known to us, there are answers to questions we are looking for throughout our lives, but they evade us. Fortunately, some thing happened today which answered a lot of queries and settled the doubts in my mind. For most of you it would mean something very serious and to be mourned upon-the end of life or death of a person, but for me it was a revelation.

It so happened that I got the news of the demise of a very good friend’s father, who passed away last evening. It sounds strange but, I’ve never met him till date, though I’ve always heard people praising him to the skies for being a good human being, very kind and compassionate.

His funeral was scheduled this morning and we rushed through our daily routine so that we could be there on time. It normally happens that people in our city get delayed due to their own time mismanagement or acute traffic congestion. We reached half an hour before the scheduled time and found that nobody had arrived and, we were the first ones to reach there. The first feeling I had was that I had reached there before time in order to receive a personality of great eminence. I felt like a part of a welcome party gearing up to welcome somebody very important who was to arrive there.

You will have to believe me when I say, that when my friend arrived with his relatives and friends along with his deceased father, there was a sudden change in the whole atmosphere, as if positive energy was surrounding him as well filling me up, as if it was not the time to cry for the dear one but, a sense of gratitude to be a part of the kith and kin giving a farewell to the God’s chosen one.

Though I’ve attended many a funerals of family members and friends, but the feeling I experienced today were very strange and unnerving. Though I had not even seen him, yet there was an immense emotional turmoil within. I couldn’t stay on till the cremation and I had to rush out immediately and left. Within a couple of hours I spoke to my friend, and what he told me cleared all cobwebs from my mind. These were the answers I was looking for.

I got to know that he had been as fit as a fiddle till the last day of his life. Never took any help or depended on others to do his work. He remained very positive towards life and the challenges he faced during his tenure on earth. Also he chose to live life at his own terms which included the time of his death, he decided to bid the final goodbye to us mortals on the auspicious festival of Mahashivratri the day of Lord Shiva. He was sipping tea in the evening and wished his desire to leave this world. It seemed that he was talking directly to the almighty himself and within fifteen minutes without a moment of uneasiness or causing disturbance to any family member, his soul left for it’s final abode, his real home the beautiful paradise created by God for his loved ones.

This was a learning experience that if you are a good human being and always follow a path of honesty and goodness, God rewards you in the end by giving you a peaceful death that comes after fulfilling your duties and living life to its fullest. If a person like me who had never met him, felt so positive and blessed, then the ones who were directly associated with him must be feeling his showers of blessings directly. For he is one of the chosen few for whom God comes down to earth and escort noble souls personally to heaven.

In the end I want to reassure everybody that nobody should be scared of dying, as death is the most beautiful and peaceful experience for man. Provided your life has been an example of someone who’s always given a thought to others, helped the needy and never done anything wrong intentionally.

One more star would be added to the galaxy of stars, shining brightly upon us… today!

Today was an unusual day for me as I was sitting alone reminiscing my favourite childhood memories. Once again they didn’t fail me and brought a smile to my face. If anyone had seen me, he’d have wondered what was making me grin idiotically. This gave rise to another idea, which was to write my next blog and share some more unforgettable experiences with my dear readers.

During my budding youth and young carefree days (though I consider myself young even now) I used to love singing all the time. Infact I was always being complimented for having a good voice and singing ability. But I could never sing two very popular and favourite songs of mine because of reasons which still tickle me ….you see the song was ‘mere saamne wali khidki mei ek chand ka tukda rehta hai..’ (there’s a beautiful face in the window, in front of our house). This was because there was actually a beautiful girl who stayed in the house across ours and to make matters worse, her father was a very strict and short-tempered man. I used to be scared of sending a wrong message or creating a misunderstanding. Yes, this could give wrong notions to hers as well as my family members too. After all we were like the perfectly normal, growing up boys. Unfortunately the second song also faced the same fate, though it was very much in vogue ‘mai kahi kavi na ban jaau tere pyar mei ai Kavita’. (Your love will turn me into a poet dear Kavita). Here again the problem being the neighbours who resided in the ground floor flat, had an extremely good looking daughter named Kavita. So my youth was deprived of these two songs. As I was not used to singing softly and singing loudly would mean offending my neighbours. So now I am taking a break and going to sing these songs before I write further, for there’s no such problem here and nobody will misunderstand my intentions since I am a respectable man, past my prime (difficult admitting as well as accepting) who means no harm to anyone.

One thing leads to another, here too I have unleashed a chain of events. This incident happened when I was in class twelfth. It’s a very crucial time for we have to appear for board exams. Worse than boards are the endless pre- boards you have to appear for, through them, our teachers ensured that we improved our performance and gave our best when the real ones are conducted. Our whole class bunked the pre- boards since their marks are not added in the final scores. We were in for the most unpleasant surprise as our principal along with our teachers was extremely angry and refused to hear us or our excuses. We were given an ultimatum to either call our parents to meet the principal or forget about getting the admit card for the exams. Our childish and thoughtless decision had taken a serious and nasty turn. Those days there weren’t any parent teacher meetings so to say. If parents had a concern they would meet the concerned teacher and solve their issues. My problem was that my father used to return late in the evening from his office. Moreover, I didn’t have the guts to ask him to accompany me. Taking mummy was also out of question because again the matter would reach my father. So in the evening when I went to play everyone inquired about my forlorn face. There were some older boys who were my friends’ elder brothers, insisted that I should share my woes, as they may have a solution. When I narrated the whole incident, my friend’s elder brother told me not to worry and the matter would be resolved. He agreed to go to my school as my elder brother. Out of anxiety and concern I wanted to confirm if he’d actually do so and also be convincing. To which he responded with a loud laughter that I would see for myself the following day.

The next day we left together for the meeting with the principal. I kept repeating that he better be good as our sir was quick to see through deceit and would not spare us thereafter. Yet my older friend had words of reassurance for me. As we entered sir’s office, he not only introduced himself as my elder brother, but also explained that our parents couldn’t come as they were out of town. He further inquired the reason for being called. So the principal replied that the whole class had bunked the exams for which they would be punished. He looked shocked and confirmed again if I too had been a part of it. No sooner did the principal nod, he (my recently aquired elder brother) turned around and gave me a tight slap. Thereafter, he kept slapping me, shouting at me that how could I mislead my parents who were working so hard and making sacrifices to educate us. He continued giving examples of our parents’ tireless efforts to give us the best and I had been selfish and self centered to have overlooked all this. The beating continued with his reprimands. Now the principal had to jump in to stop him saying we were kids after all and make mistakes, he even asked my so called elder bro to excuse me as I had had enough punishment for the day. Also he asked to wait while the admit card was being given to me. Once we came out I turned to him angrily saying that he had slapped me very hard in reality and there was no acting in it. So this friend of mine apologised saying he had got into the skin of the character. Now with our mission accomplished we went home narrating interesting incidents to each others laughing throughout. Though what we did was not correct, but it sure makes me laugh whenever I think about it.

There are some beautiful pages of our life which open up to bring happy memories and liven up our lives. I had read somewhere that life is like an ice- cream, so enjoy it before it melts.

I begin this blog with a big thank you to all my readers as I received the best response for my previous blog ‘Doctors Our Superheroes’. I was delighted to be the recipient of a number of mails as well as phone calls from my friends and family. Trust me it’s an overwhelming feeling for an emotional personal like me. My purpose of writing these blogs is never monetary benefits or popularity, it is to bring happiness to my readers like the title suggests, those who have followed my posts know these are real life experiences, written with honesty so that it makes a difference in the mindset or attitude of those who read. If I was able to touch even a few hearts or made them rethink towards a more positive and broader outlook, I am a happy man. Also the fact that I have completed 70 blogs makes me wonder that we have truly come a long way together.

Now this blog is about the responses I got for the last one. I am sharing a few with you. The first phone call came from a dear friend of mine whose daughter wanted to speak to me. Our conversation was quite emotional. She began by thanking me for writing a wonderful blog which was shared by her father. She was very happy to have read it, as it provided her with a clarity and courage to take the right decision. She had been in a dilemma whether to go for medicine as a profession, a career which she wanted to pursue, but she had been discouraged over the years to not take it up due to a number of reasons. She was so impressed and inspired after reading about the doctors, especially the second one that she had firmly made up her mind to be a successful, smart, elegant and competent doctor. There was passion and fervour in the way she was discussing her future plans. The funniest part of the conversation was that the girl told me that she shares an important quality with Dr. Shalini, which was, that she always puts the thread in the needle for her mom, yet her hands never shake, they are always steady. Believe me I kept laughing on this remark of hers for days. She has scored the 3rd highest marks in class tenth in her school and happily opted for science stream with biology. God bless her to achieve her dreams and aspirations.

The second call came from an MBBS student, in second year. She told me that she had been impressed by the doctors, plus a wee bit envious too. Since she is pursuing the same profession, yet not sure if she would have the finer qualities, for she wants to be a successful professional without ignoring the humanitarian aspect. She began questioning me as to how I judge a person’s merits and shortcomings. My answer was very simple, firstly dedication towards one’s goals and the eyes of a person which are like the mirrors of their soul, reflecting the reality of the person inside. I believe in honest eyes, they have never made me regret my opinion in the past.

I received a lot of emails from different corners of the world saying that people have had terrible, infact bitter experiences with doctors and my experiences were far away from reality. To which I responded that I had written at the end of my blog that it all depends on you, your behaviour or luck sometimes also. Sometimes the queries are too many or irrelevant that they might annoy or frustrate a doctor who is already very busy. Further it’s not possible to explain technical nuances to a common man.

Though this blog is getting long, but there were some more interesting calls which I don’t want to ignore. There was a late night call from my cousin who had just finished reading my blog, for they have twins who keep them busy during the day. Her response was the most heartening because she was so impressed by the doctors that she wished that her daughters would take up this noble profession, even if they didn’t, they grow up to be honest, upright and sensitive individuals. This also reminds me that I made a big mistake in my previous blog, as I forgot to mention the parents of these doctors, who should be thanked, without their guidance, upbringing and good values no person can evolve as a complete personality. I told her to give her children the right values and congenial atmosphere from the start, as only a fragrant flower can pass on its fragrance to its offsprings. Roses only bloom in a rose bush or plant.

There are a lot of good people in this world and so many more who want to be good including me. So there shouldn’t be anything to stop us from being a good human being. Therefore, follow the examples of the good people around us and evolve as better personalities. I am grateful once again to the three doctors for touching my life along with so many others and making a difference. For a single candle can light thousands of other candles.

A few days ago, I met my cousin who commented that since I am always talking about my doctors, why didn’t I write about them. There was a similar request from some of my regular followers to share my experiences too. I have decided to write about the people who have the most noble profession, our doctors. I’ve been fortunate to be associated with three brilliant miracle makers.

There was this long part of my life when I don’t remember falling ill ever or consulting a doctor for something serious. But a few years ago I suffered a brain stroke and had to be rushed to the hospital. This was the time when I was undergoing the treatment of a very well known neurologist Dr. Sinha. A gentleman of few words and only action. Initially we experienced this stoic, tall and lean doctor’s expertise in my complicated case of emergency. Later on, when I was shifted to my room, he would come on a round, sit next to me to ask about my progress. Every hospital staff was surprised to see that such a reserved and busy doctor gave so much extra attention to me, as this was not something they witnessed regularly. A day before I was to be discharged he expressed his desire to have a cup of tea with me. I was extremely surprised when he said he’d miss seeing me, but since I was improving he was quite happy I was leaving. I will never forget his parting words that I shouldn’t give up and good health comes to those who are never scared to face the challenges that life throws at us, that I will get back in good health after all I am a fighter. I salute him!

The second doctor is Dr. Shalini T, the eye specialist. Whatever I say about her is not enough. She’s the best in her field, very busy and an expert ophthalmologist. I remember the first meeting with her, I saw an extremely simple but a graceful and elegant lady, in a sari. She has a smile which can light up the darkest corner, the positivity and peace of her face gives confidence to the most jittery and nervous patients, like me. What struck me as something most amazing is that despite an extremely busy schedule, which probably does not give her the liberty to take a tea or coffee break also, she looks so fresh whenever you meet her. This somehow frail looking lady has the nerves of steel and steadiest of hands, which perform the most complicated surgeries without wavering or making any mistakes…an unusual, yet the most wonderful creation of god. She is the pole star for me. A person who makes me curious to know more about her as to how she manages to remain so calm, composed and keeps smiling with encouragement. I respect her from the depth of my heart and want to thank her for all that she’s done for me.

Finally I want to talk about my third doctor, Dr. Monika A, the Medical Specialist. She’s an absolute contrast in comparison to the other two. She came into the picture when I lost my elder brother and was in a pathetic state. The mental trauma, emotional stress and anxiety were playing havoc on my health. When she took up my case, I was in the worst possible condition. She’s another person who impressed me in the very first meeting. I was charmed by this highly confident, smart and cool lady doctor. Her expertise, knowledge and experience gave me an immediate boost and relieved my anxiety. She’s not the scary, stern or strict professional who will speak less, ask you questions related only to your problem and the rest of the topics are a taboo. Infact she’s a cheerful, vivacious young lady with a thousand watt smile. She can talk about anything under the sun and soon have the most difficult patients (including me) trusting her completely and following her advice. Within no time she got my messed up ill health, back on track. I wish her all the success and happiness in life, for she’s also God’s miracle worker.

My life has been touched by these three wonderful saviours on this earth. Till the time I am alive, I will always remember them in my prayers. I would advise all my readers not to be afraid of going to a doctor, for if a person like me, who gets sleepless nights by the very thought of visiting one, can visit a doctor and feel so comfortable, than you all can do it for sure…but your doctors need to be like my superheroes!!!! 🙂

For it is said that this world is going on because of a few good people who still exist and my three super heroes are among those.

Dear friends

I’d heard that sometimes we fall short of words to express ourselves, believe me I’m in a similar turmoil today. I recently lost my elder brother which has caused a hurricane of emotions in the lives of all our family members. I’m reminded of the great mughal emperor Shah Jahan who’d built a monument in white marble for his beloved Mumtaz Mahal..the Taj Mahal. In the same way our elder brother has left behind a spectacular Taj of his memories to cherish forever in our hearts. What a great human being he was! God doesn’t make men like him anymore. A combination and blend of an ideal personality – tall, fair and good looking with a charming demeanour, highlighted by his easy smile, wonderful sense of humour, high IQ and intelligence, polite but full of cheer to enjoy life to the fullest – whether it was his love for dancing, singing, debating, passion for fast sleek cars or travelling….I can just go on and on.That’s why we believe that such people don’t go away but become stars that shine and bless us forever.

Since the name of my blog is ‘The Theory of Happy Living’ so I only want to talk about things which would give us happiness. Some people shoulder all responsibilities with a lot of grace and without complains, this was his unique quality. He protected all of us, his younger siblings from all problems after our parents passed away. He never allowed any obstacles to hamper our progress, provided emotional support, not letting us shed tears, instead guided and motivated us at every step of our journey, though there wasn’t much age difference between us.

He was the life of every party and celebration with his unmatched energy for dancing, cracking jokes and knowledge of the current affairs. Anyone could have an interesting discussion on any topic with him. He never demanded respect, but earned it. He was a successful businessman, a caring and loving husband, a doting father to his two beautiful and well brought up children and a grandpa who’d spoil the kids rotten.

Birth and death are in God’s jurisdiction, but the life in between depends on how we decide to live it. He spent his fruitfully, enjoying every moment and living each minute to the fullest. So on losing him, we weren’t the only ones shedding tears of grief and loss, god too cried as it began to rain out of the blue and the nature and its inhabitants were silently bidding good bye to this pure and noble soul.

My last memory of him was when I gave him a piece of chocolate before taking him to the hospital. I was one of the fortunate one who gave him his last bite (since it was a chocolate that he loved soo much) thereafter, he didn’t eat anything. I don’t know why but I am finding some kind of solace in eating chocolates whenever I remember him or miss him. Our chocolate hero has left us for his next journey, but now we have the third guardian angel watching us from above along with our two parents. Dear readers once again l am pointing out that life is very precious, so appreciate your blessings, love your near and dear ones, be satisfied with your needs and not give into your greed, do the things you want before it’s too late and you repent.

I want to tell my elder brother that he was a winner in everything he undertook and remains a winner in death as well. You were the first to enter the family as well as first to leave it. We will always remain your followers and do our best to continue life on your footsteps. So au revoir till we meet again in the other world.

Hi all, hope you all have been doing well! With the festivities kicking in, and the weather getting pleasant I’m all excited for the celebrations that would last longer than usual.

Sitting in my comfort with a cup of perfect cardamom tea, in my mind I was counting all the birthdays that are about to come. And only then I realised that me and my wife would be completing 26 years of marriage. It only seems about yesterday when I had got married and, it was my wife’s first birthday after marriage.

My entire family was ecstatic about her birthday, moreover the newly wedded daughter-in-law’s birthday celebration was no joke. It was a chilly evening of January, just a day before her birthday when all of us had gathered for a sumptuous dinner as usual, followed by a piping hot sweet dish that we all relished. In no time it was midnight while we were all talking and laughing when my mother brought a cake to be cut by my wife. She was very happy, all of us wished her and my mother and brothers gave her lots of gifts.

It was close to two o’clock when my mother sent us away to get back to our respective rooms as the following day was working for all of us. My wife was super excited and I could see that she was happy, but I hadn’t given her any gift. She probably must have thought that I might surprise her next morning, so she without any inquiries, went off to sleep. The next morning she woke up to a big bouquet of her favourite red roses and a saree sent to her by her parents who stayed in a different state. In that excitement she again didn’t ask me about what I had brought for her.

She had a long day at home with my mother that day with so many of my neighbours pouring in to wish her and other relatives who stayed nearby as well. I’m sure, she was on cloud nine and also a bit curious about what I might gift her as I hadn’t mentioned anything about it yet. That late afternoon suddenly I turned up before my actual time. My wife was surprised and thought, that probably this was the gift for her that I had returned early.

My mother jokingly asked my wife, what did my son gift you, to which she replied that he came home before time was the gift that he must have thought of giving to her. My mother was laughing slowly and then suddenly she said go pack your bag with a set of clothes, because you are going to your parents house. My wife couldn’t register what my mother said. I was standing close to my mother and shook my wife, and told her to pack for both of us because we were getting late as we had to catch a train. Also the driver was waiting in the car to take us to the railway station.

My wife was in a complete shock, she quickly ran back into the room after my mother nodded and brought a bag with our clothes and in no time we left for the station. We reached there and our train was just in time. Apparently the trains usually arrive later at their destinations during winters, but unbelievably our train was fifteen minutes before time.

We got down at the station and hired a cab. We reached my in-laws house in less than twenty minutes we were outside the big gate of her house. We got down from the cab with our bag and saw that the lights had not been lit. Her parents must have forgotten today. My wife approached the bell and pressed it the way she usually did, my father-in-law came rushing from inside and yelled with tears when he actually saw my wife on her birthday at her house. You see he was clueless about our arrival, as my wife had spoken to him the previous night and even the same afternoon, so when she knew nothing I decided to keep it as a little secret, else how would have I seen those moments of sheer joy…

He quickly took us in, while we met my mother-in-law who almost choked with emotions , my father-in-law switched on all the lights of the house and of the verandah. While I left the duo to talk, I came outside the room to the dining hall, where the food was kept. My father-in-law by that time came and patted me on the back and said that we had planned to have only those dishes that my wife liked.

But my father-in-law seemed to be in a rush. He frantically started making calls to his friends and other colonels who lived nearby inviting them over for a party, in an hour, wearing whatever they were wearing but with no gifts. He quickly ordered the servants of the house to run errands and do the needful. By this time my mother-in-law and my wife had exchanged heart to heart conversations and seemed to be extremely happy, they too began helping the servants.

Everyone came over for a last minute grand birthday party and without gifts as they knew that my father-in-law wouldn’t receive any at any cost. They all enjoyed a typically lavish party thrown by a commanding officer which had everything, you name it and it was there. From drinks to snacks to dinner, not forgetting the cake and with a delectable sweet dish.

All this while I was observing my in-laws and my wife. What I understood that day, can never be forgotten. My wife being the first child always had her parents extra love and pampering, and they had always celebrated her birthday in a grand manner ever since she was a baby. My mother-in-law who was a great cook was always appreciated by all but my father-in-law was a perfect planner, never failed to impress anyone. Who would have thought that their married daughter would give them the privilege of celebrating her birthday with them. And that day there was a bond that became stronger between me and my dear in-laws and of course the strongest with my wife. So, a girl leaves behind everything to become everything of a new house and family, isn’t it our responsibility as good husbands or in-laws to prove all cliches wrong and give her a life full of good memories?

So move out of the typicality and cliches and see how things go right, and work in your favour always! Have a good time folks, see you soon!

Fight!

The world is progressing,

But sadly we are regressing.

To survive one must fight,

Fight because it’s right!

Fight the wrongs,

But do not sing the preachy songs.

Strive harder, get up and wake up,

This is your time to show up!

Forget all that’s going on,

Focus on what you want.

Fight because it’s right,

Fight because it’s not wrong!

Who are they to judge,

And run our lives as lowly as theirs?

We are born fighters,

and that’s what we must press.

Listen not oh worthy people,

They will rip you off your identity and make you like their own.

Whoever will judge the difference,

Will prove that we are all just the same!

Worry not you poor dear little soul,

Remember that there’s is always hope for the mighty soul.

Just be right about what you care,

Rest assured they will all be scared.

Your sufferings will come to a halt,

Only when you don’t compromise with their continuous faults.

Believe in yourself,

That’s how you will find your true self!

So fight, fight and fight,

As fiercly and as ferociously you can.

At the end your sufferings will come to end,

A happy life filled with the best shall commence!

Hello all, hope you are all doing well! Life has been so complicated lately, for fulfilling bigger dreams I realised what were we running after, for whom, for what and most importantly why?

These thoughts keep crossing my mind some or the other time. But then again I am digging into my treasure of memories into the past to revive my fallen spirits- these were the good times that held power and strength; still do. How our parents did not run after big things but put efforts for small things that we still cherish after we have all grown older. The little things were big things folks, that’s why their memories are still etched in our hearts and remembered fondly.

I remember attending my cousin Aarti Didi’s wedding (didi- meaning sister) in Lucknow, during a chilly winter month. That was a time when I was in college, and one of my first winter vacations after college exams. While my elder brother and sister were busy with their jobs, my younger brother on the other hand was busy with school exams preparation. Thus, my father also had to stay back. Me and my mother were all set to leave for Lucknow, to attend a wedding which I still have good memories of.

We reached there soon and that too on the morning of the wedding. While all were busy with little preparations and last minute decorations, my mom and I were welcomed warmly as we were the much awaited guests. All my cousins were in very high spirits, my aunts were already singing wedding songs and were helping each other also along with long and never ending discussions of clothes and jewellery for the evening. My mother in no time joined her sisters, brothers, sister in-laws and others in merry making.

While my cousins had taken me elsewhere where we all talked and sat down with my favourite cup of tea and samosas (samosa- Indian fried snack). My mother’s brothers were happy to see me and were waiting for my arrival because I was loved by one and all, the blue eyed boy of the family.

Unbelievably the time flew so fast that it was almost evening and everybody rushed one another to get ready for the wedding. While some of my cousin sisters were getting ready in their shiny and glittering attires, on the other hand my cousin brothers were set in their expensive sweaters and trousers. Everybody hushed me and constantly tried to send me off so that I could get ready.

My uncles were set with their finest clothes and when they came out from different rooms at different times, questioned me why I was not ready. While more than half of the family was ready except for the ones who were helping the bride and others who were working with the people at the venue of the wedding, which was right outside the house in a tent, swarmed around me and almost scolded me for not getting ready. I told them in a low voice that the casuals I wore was what I would be wearing for the evening as I wasn’t carrying any appropriate clothes for the wedding. Because I didn’t get any time to shop and hence came the way I was.

Everyone was taken aback with my reply. First nobody tried to touch that topic but after some time one of my cousin brother’s broke out and offered me his clothes. Seeing this the other one offered me his fine bright blue, latest styled sweater. One of the uncles was ready to take me to a new shop that had opened in the heart of the city’s biggest market to purchase some new clothes, he had already started his scooter and called out my name.

With a heavy heart I had to refuse him and all the others too. By this time my mother was ready in her beautiful silk saree and was secretly laughing and watching what was happening. I even secretly winked at her and told her not to reveal anything. There was a situation like that of havoc, so many were shattered to see my misery while the others were upset because they wanted to introduce this young and handsome Delhi boy to the in-laws of my cousin sister who was to be married off in a matter of few hours. My cousin sisters took every possible measure so that I could do something and not wear casuals to the wedding, but all efforts were futile.

It was time for everyone to leave for the venue to attend the wedding. While everyone was leaving I told my uncle to leave their house unlocked as I wanted to lie down for fifteen minutes as I had a severe headache and promised to join them soon. As everyone left I again winked at my mom who was the last one to leave and quickly locked the house from inside and dashed into the room where my luggage was kept, to get ready.

My father had got me a lovely burgundy suit stitched to wear at the wedding. In those days it was a luxury very few could afford. It held a great deal of love and blessings because that was my first ever suit that my parents had gifted me and it was not the money that mattered it was the emotion with which they gave me, that made me look so special that day!

After I got ready I quickly wore my matching shoes, my hair were already combed and set. With this I was overjoyed to see how the suit fitted me so well and perfectly. With this I then went towards the door thanking my father under my breath because then I couldn’t have sent him my picture or thanked him personally over the phone. I happily locked the door and when I entered the marriage venue…

The whole family was stunned and started celebrating by dancing and hooting at the top of their voices calling out my name and cheering loudly for their eyes couldn’t believe the scene. They were so happy to see my attire, and my mother was equally overjoyed to see how happy I looked and the others too.

So far this has been the best wedding where I looked the best, the most handsome and perfect! Aarti Didi’s wedding still brings back those tears of joy and fond memories of my parent’s blessings. My parent’s have done a lot for all four of their kids and this little thing according to them proved to be the biggest one for me. I still remember how my father would ask me to repeat this incident as it gave him great joy and he would never get tired of listening to this incident over and over again- laughing the loudest everytime. His laughter still fills my heart whenever I remember it, it makes me even more happier.

It’s not about material happiness that fills our hearts with joy and cheer but little things which are done out of care, compassion and pure love without any selfish or ulterior motive. That’s what you all probably of my age remember, and this is what your children will forever remember. So stop running after big things, they are not very hard to achieve, rather aim for small things. Because big cars and gadgets won’t make a big difference but how the little things and gestures make difference in other’s lives is what is the most important!